reality sets in
Dec. 28th, 2003 03:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
quietann(Disclaimer: this is at least partially fueled by PMS and missing two days of meds...)
So. I am back, and reality is setting in. Once upon a time, when people were doing the 100 Days pledges, I pledged to clean the house for an hour each day. This only lasted a few days, but while I was doing it, it was good.
I need to do it again, but I don't know where to start. Ben used to throw great parties, before I moved in along with cats and rats and an ever-expanding fabric collection. I won't let almost anyone come over, because the house is such a mess. It was semi-cleaned for the wedding, 18 months ago, but not much has been done since then. We want to have parties again (if anyone would show up, given that we aren't in Camberville...) With 4000 square feet of living space, plus the deck and barn, we certainly have room.
Part of it I guess is that Ben just doesn't care. Or he's too busy with the computer, and there is always Arisia stuff that needs to be done. He *says* he will help, but if I don't "supervise" he is back at the computer sooner rather than later. He doesn't understand how out of control our living environment makes me feel. Or if he does, he sees it as "my" problem, and not something he needs to do anything about.
I am starting to have fantasies about moving back to my old place in Waltham again, which is always a bad sign. (Seeing an acquaintance's lovely attic apartment this evening didn't help... my old place was in an attic, and had *character*, unlike this old farmhouse, which is cramped and boxy and plain.)
argh.
So. I am back, and reality is setting in. Once upon a time, when people were doing the 100 Days pledges, I pledged to clean the house for an hour each day. This only lasted a few days, but while I was doing it, it was good.
I need to do it again, but I don't know where to start. Ben used to throw great parties, before I moved in along with cats and rats and an ever-expanding fabric collection. I won't let almost anyone come over, because the house is such a mess. It was semi-cleaned for the wedding, 18 months ago, but not much has been done since then. We want to have parties again (if anyone would show up, given that we aren't in Camberville...) With 4000 square feet of living space, plus the deck and barn, we certainly have room.
Part of it I guess is that Ben just doesn't care. Or he's too busy with the computer, and there is always Arisia stuff that needs to be done. He *says* he will help, but if I don't "supervise" he is back at the computer sooner rather than later. He doesn't understand how out of control our living environment makes me feel. Or if he does, he sees it as "my" problem, and not something he needs to do anything about.
I am starting to have fantasies about moving back to my old place in Waltham again, which is always a bad sign. (Seeing an acquaintance's lovely attic apartment this evening didn't help... my old place was in an attic, and had *character*, unlike this old farmhouse, which is cramped and boxy and plain.)
argh.
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Date: 2003-12-28 02:38 pm (UTC)www.flylady.com - helpful site. You don't need to follow everything to the letter, but pick and choose what can work for you. (I think that putting my shoes on first thing in the morning is utter torture, but I really like the idea of spending 15 minutes working on an area at a time - it's short, and not overwhelming, and you can get a lot of things done in that period of time.)
plastic containers from target. Oh my god. I don't know what I did before this. We've only got 1300 square feet, and very little closet space, so these have been a god send. I've got quilting stuff stashed under the bed, present wrapping stuff in the computer room closet, the kids' toys in boxes on their shelves. It REALLY helps me to keep everything together with other like things.
Find a place for everything, and put everything in it's place. Don't try to do this all at once. Find one or two things a day, and figure out where they go, and then put them there! For me, this has been really helpful with little things, like fingernail clippers. There's now a specific place in our hall closet for fingernail clippers and other similar grooming supplies. The big issue here is always making sure everything goes back once you're done with it. But, make it a habit, and it will become easier. (I suspect this is where Ben's help can be REALLY useful.)
Sort mail over the garbage/recycling bin. When you bring it in from the box, IMMEDIATELY deal with it. Toss what you're not going to use/need, put your bills in one area, and deal with everything else. Boom! that's a whole lot less clutter to deal with!
Spend 10-15 minutes each evening doing clutter patrol - clear up the living room and diningroom, or whatever you can manage in that period of time. A little time does make a big difference.
Don't be afraid of throwing things out! Every few weeks (or less), I'll walk through the house with a big garbage bag, and will throw out as much stuff as I can find. (flylady also promotes this idea - saying you should throw out 27 items each day or so!) That's a sure way to reduce the amount of crap in your house!
I hope these ideas help. I really like the suggestion of giving Ben specific jobs to do. He may be bugged by the mess, too, but just doesn't have a clue of how to deal with it. Grab him for 15 minutes each evening and give him a garbage bag and tell him he has to find 25 things to put in the garbage bag! Or give him a pile of papers to file - go buy a filing cabinet or three if you haven't already. You guys can do it!