reality sets in
Dec. 28th, 2003 03:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
quietann(Disclaimer: this is at least partially fueled by PMS and missing two days of meds...)
So. I am back, and reality is setting in. Once upon a time, when people were doing the 100 Days pledges, I pledged to clean the house for an hour each day. This only lasted a few days, but while I was doing it, it was good.
I need to do it again, but I don't know where to start. Ben used to throw great parties, before I moved in along with cats and rats and an ever-expanding fabric collection. I won't let almost anyone come over, because the house is such a mess. It was semi-cleaned for the wedding, 18 months ago, but not much has been done since then. We want to have parties again (if anyone would show up, given that we aren't in Camberville...) With 4000 square feet of living space, plus the deck and barn, we certainly have room.
Part of it I guess is that Ben just doesn't care. Or he's too busy with the computer, and there is always Arisia stuff that needs to be done. He *says* he will help, but if I don't "supervise" he is back at the computer sooner rather than later. He doesn't understand how out of control our living environment makes me feel. Or if he does, he sees it as "my" problem, and not something he needs to do anything about.
I am starting to have fantasies about moving back to my old place in Waltham again, which is always a bad sign. (Seeing an acquaintance's lovely attic apartment this evening didn't help... my old place was in an attic, and had *character*, unlike this old farmhouse, which is cramped and boxy and plain.)
argh.
So. I am back, and reality is setting in. Once upon a time, when people were doing the 100 Days pledges, I pledged to clean the house for an hour each day. This only lasted a few days, but while I was doing it, it was good.
I need to do it again, but I don't know where to start. Ben used to throw great parties, before I moved in along with cats and rats and an ever-expanding fabric collection. I won't let almost anyone come over, because the house is such a mess. It was semi-cleaned for the wedding, 18 months ago, but not much has been done since then. We want to have parties again (if anyone would show up, given that we aren't in Camberville...) With 4000 square feet of living space, plus the deck and barn, we certainly have room.
Part of it I guess is that Ben just doesn't care. Or he's too busy with the computer, and there is always Arisia stuff that needs to be done. He *says* he will help, but if I don't "supervise" he is back at the computer sooner rather than later. He doesn't understand how out of control our living environment makes me feel. Or if he does, he sees it as "my" problem, and not something he needs to do anything about.
I am starting to have fantasies about moving back to my old place in Waltham again, which is always a bad sign. (Seeing an acquaintance's lovely attic apartment this evening didn't help... my old place was in an attic, and had *character*, unlike this old farmhouse, which is cramped and boxy and plain.)
argh.
