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quietannOK, first I want to say that this is purely my own pet peeve, and has more to do with my own issues than with any individual's.
I guess one of the things I like about this group is that women aren't expected to be skinny (or even "normal weight" whatever that is). But there's a trend for women in the group to be going on diets and otherwise trying to slim down in various ways. This is fine for each individual person, and usually quite justified for health reasons.
What disturbs me more is a further trend to comment about one's progress in one's LJ (or occasionally on a group mailing list). I don't see it happening much, yet, but occasionally the tone of these comments could be construed as critical of anyone who is not dieting/exercising. And it's only happening amongst the women, or at least the public commentary aspect is. I worry about people losing empathy over time and starting to judge others more on their body size. Heck, I worry that at some point *I* will be judged in this way, and found wanting. (I do try to be fairly careful about what I eat, but I don't exercise much... I find that I have many other things I would rather do with my time, and most forms of exercise bore me or make me twitch or sometimes both. And, I know that if I start an exercise program, it has to be a "forever commitment" because every time I do, and quit, I gain 10 pounds.)
There's a larger meta-issue here, which is exactly what does one put in one's LJ? There are things I'd love to write more about, but some of them are in the realm of gossip, and this medium seems way too permanent compared to talking gossip. Some of what I would say, if I didn't have this level of self-consciousness, would be mean, and I don't want the social repercussions. And some of it I would feel ridiculous about sharing semi-publically... it is my biggest fear to look ridiculous, and I am prone to choosing inaction over action if there's the slightest chance I'd be open to ridicule. I _do_ have an inner diva, and even an inner bitch, but both get kept under wraps most of the time
I guess one of the things I like about this group is that women aren't expected to be skinny (or even "normal weight" whatever that is). But there's a trend for women in the group to be going on diets and otherwise trying to slim down in various ways. This is fine for each individual person, and usually quite justified for health reasons.
What disturbs me more is a further trend to comment about one's progress in one's LJ (or occasionally on a group mailing list). I don't see it happening much, yet, but occasionally the tone of these comments could be construed as critical of anyone who is not dieting/exercising. And it's only happening amongst the women, or at least the public commentary aspect is. I worry about people losing empathy over time and starting to judge others more on their body size. Heck, I worry that at some point *I* will be judged in this way, and found wanting. (I do try to be fairly careful about what I eat, but I don't exercise much... I find that I have many other things I would rather do with my time, and most forms of exercise bore me or make me twitch or sometimes both. And, I know that if I start an exercise program, it has to be a "forever commitment" because every time I do, and quit, I gain 10 pounds.)
There's a larger meta-issue here, which is exactly what does one put in one's LJ? There are things I'd love to write more about, but some of them are in the realm of gossip, and this medium seems way too permanent compared to talking gossip. Some of what I would say, if I didn't have this level of self-consciousness, would be mean, and I don't want the social repercussions. And some of it I would feel ridiculous about sharing semi-publically... it is my biggest fear to look ridiculous, and I am prone to choosing inaction over action if there's the slightest chance I'd be open to ridicule. I _do_ have an inner diva, and even an inner bitch, but both get kept under wraps most of the time
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no subject
Date: 2002-06-05 09:45 am (UTC)I have some especial sensitivities around weight and diet. Because I am diabetic, some people try to control what I eat... or point out some specially luscious bit of food and then say, "Oh wait, you're diabetic; you can't eat that!" I find this very annoying, because (a) I can eat whatever I want to, in moderation, and (b) I've been diabetic for almost 27 years, so I know a hell of a lot more about what I can and cannot do than anyone else.
I also spent most of my teenage years battling with my mom over my weight. She was the only normal-weight woman in her immediate family, and very concerned that I not get fat. Part of the power struggle resulted in me developing a fairly bizarre eating disorder (which abated on its own while I was in college).
And then there's the whole issue of regaining the weight one's lost, and yo-yo dieting, wrecking one's metabolism, and all that. I am one of those people who _gains_ weight when trying to diet, because I hate all the restrictions and stuff.
no subject
Date: 2002-06-05 02:11 pm (UTC)which i guess gets back to your earlier meta-question about what might constitute "fit topics" for this venue.
personally, i'm all for letting folks decide it for themselves. i deeply believe in feedback, & i think it's useful for say me to hear that say you have issues with what i post.
but i also value listening on its own terms. i'd like it if you could read my lj and think "that's what she's thinking", without extending it to "this must be what she thinks of *me*"....