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quietannsoooo. It's getting back to me that some of our friends think Ben and I are being cheap, because we are having a potluck wedding and asked our friends to help with various tasks relating to site prep, organization, etc.
We are following in the footsteps of _other_ friends who have done exactly what we are doing... The only difference is that we have a bit more money than these friends. Not a _huge_ amount more, but enough so that our current extended periods of unemployment aren't causing a huge panic (though it will when our health insurance runs out), and our eccentric hobbies are paid for.
We decided to have our wedding this way because it fits with who we are, and our sincere desire to avoid the wedding industry at all costs. The potluck is not only becoming a community tradition, it is an old-world Jewish shtetl tradition, too. Not to mention that whatever food our friends show up with will be better than any caterer's. We _aren't_ asking for expensive gifts -- only donations to my mom's memorial fund -- or having the sort of wedding where the guests feel like they need a new outfit to attend. We also wanted to be able to invite as many people as we wanted, and not have to cut some people off the guest list in order to keep costs down. (And trust me, this wedding is NOT coming inexpensively... there has been a lot of deferred work on the house that is now getting done because it _has_ to be before the wedding, and the money we've spent on the few weddingly things we are having (like rings, my dress, the rabbi's fee, equipment rentals etc.) is already into 5 figures.)
But, because we have money, we are expected to put on a big, expensive "show" for everyone? I don't think so.
We are following in the footsteps of _other_ friends who have done exactly what we are doing... The only difference is that we have a bit more money than these friends. Not a _huge_ amount more, but enough so that our current extended periods of unemployment aren't causing a huge panic (though it will when our health insurance runs out), and our eccentric hobbies are paid for.
We decided to have our wedding this way because it fits with who we are, and our sincere desire to avoid the wedding industry at all costs. The potluck is not only becoming a community tradition, it is an old-world Jewish shtetl tradition, too. Not to mention that whatever food our friends show up with will be better than any caterer's. We _aren't_ asking for expensive gifts -- only donations to my mom's memorial fund -- or having the sort of wedding where the guests feel like they need a new outfit to attend. We also wanted to be able to invite as many people as we wanted, and not have to cut some people off the guest list in order to keep costs down. (And trust me, this wedding is NOT coming inexpensively... there has been a lot of deferred work on the house that is now getting done because it _has_ to be before the wedding, and the money we've spent on the few weddingly things we are having (like rings, my dress, the rabbi's fee, equipment rentals etc.) is already into 5 figures.)
But, because we have money, we are expected to put on a big, expensive "show" for everyone? I don't think so.
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Date: 2002-05-18 07:26 am (UTC)For anyone else you've "heard" has said that sort of crap, given the unreliability of the rumor mill, at least allow for the possibility that they haven't, but that whoever is passing that information along to you either doesn't like the speaker, and so is trying to get them in a bit of trouble, or possibly is just trying to make you feel bad, or even is just making an honest mistake.
I am frequently amazed at the things I hear about myself saying.