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quietannsoooo. It's getting back to me that some of our friends think Ben and I are being cheap, because we are having a potluck wedding and asked our friends to help with various tasks relating to site prep, organization, etc.
We are following in the footsteps of _other_ friends who have done exactly what we are doing... The only difference is that we have a bit more money than these friends. Not a _huge_ amount more, but enough so that our current extended periods of unemployment aren't causing a huge panic (though it will when our health insurance runs out), and our eccentric hobbies are paid for.
We decided to have our wedding this way because it fits with who we are, and our sincere desire to avoid the wedding industry at all costs. The potluck is not only becoming a community tradition, it is an old-world Jewish shtetl tradition, too. Not to mention that whatever food our friends show up with will be better than any caterer's. We _aren't_ asking for expensive gifts -- only donations to my mom's memorial fund -- or having the sort of wedding where the guests feel like they need a new outfit to attend. We also wanted to be able to invite as many people as we wanted, and not have to cut some people off the guest list in order to keep costs down. (And trust me, this wedding is NOT coming inexpensively... there has been a lot of deferred work on the house that is now getting done because it _has_ to be before the wedding, and the money we've spent on the few weddingly things we are having (like rings, my dress, the rabbi's fee, equipment rentals etc.) is already into 5 figures.)
But, because we have money, we are expected to put on a big, expensive "show" for everyone? I don't think so.
We are following in the footsteps of _other_ friends who have done exactly what we are doing... The only difference is that we have a bit more money than these friends. Not a _huge_ amount more, but enough so that our current extended periods of unemployment aren't causing a huge panic (though it will when our health insurance runs out), and our eccentric hobbies are paid for.
We decided to have our wedding this way because it fits with who we are, and our sincere desire to avoid the wedding industry at all costs. The potluck is not only becoming a community tradition, it is an old-world Jewish shtetl tradition, too. Not to mention that whatever food our friends show up with will be better than any caterer's. We _aren't_ asking for expensive gifts -- only donations to my mom's memorial fund -- or having the sort of wedding where the guests feel like they need a new outfit to attend. We also wanted to be able to invite as many people as we wanted, and not have to cut some people off the guest list in order to keep costs down. (And trust me, this wedding is NOT coming inexpensively... there has been a lot of deferred work on the house that is now getting done because it _has_ to be before the wedding, and the money we've spent on the few weddingly things we are having (like rings, my dress, the rabbi's fee, equipment rentals etc.) is already into 5 figures.)
But, because we have money, we are expected to put on a big, expensive "show" for everyone? I don't think so.
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Date: 2002-05-16 11:28 am (UTC)I think what you guys are doing is a lovely thing - it kind of falls along those lines of - a community raises a child, a barn, a home, a family...you're bringing us into something that is very special for the two of you and giving us some ownership of the experience.
So fuck them (sorry for the crudeness) - they don't like it they certainly can go elsewhere.
This pisses me off and I hate hate hate that you're hearing that stuff.
*hug*