'burbs parties, Camberville parties, and c.

[quietann]

So this was a busy weekend, but everything tonight except for one party was private invite, and it seems that we've fallen off all but one of the Camberville crowd's private invite lists. So we went to the public one (which was conveniently located halfway between an afternoon party and our house). And it was small, and really nice, and a mix of people I know reasonably well and people I had never met before (including the hosts, who were involved in MIT theatre when deguspice was). The high point for me was the presence of a 10 week old black kitten, who was just too cute for words. I am rarely around kittens, and all but one of the cats I've adopted since junior high school have been adults. (The exception was about 4-5 months old, so past the "cute" kitten stage...)

I also had a nice discussion with a susboid about weightloss and exercise. It was a very sane discussion, and her approaches could match mine well given that we have a lot of the same attitudes and experiences about diets and all (e.g. that we both *gain* weight when we try to diet....) I will put most of that in another post.

so... here is the "take ann with a grain of salt because she's PMS-y" reflections... The party we went to was in Stow, which is out in the suburbs. There was *no one* from Cambridge or Somerville there except for a non-susboid couple from Cambridge co-housing near Porter Square. There's a well-known phenomenon of Cambervillians thinking that those parts of the world not within walking distance of the upper end of the Red Line don't exist (or at the very least can be ignored). Those of us out in the suburbs try to make it as easy as possible for people who live closer to Boston to attend our social events, but rarely get taken up on it. It can be frustrating; for the car enabled, it takes 25 minutes to get to our house in Andover at non-rush hours.

Now we don't think, "oh, Somerville, gosh, that's soooooo far away." Maybe we're just used to driving longer distances, but it's no big deal for us to come into town for OPN or a party or whatever. But the reverse is not true as far as I can tell. (A friend who used to live in the DC area has noted that DC-area 'boids were quite willing to drive up to an hour to get to a party, and people were more organized about ride-sharing and so forth.)

It's frustrating, but OTOH even if we are not invited to party with the "cool kids", the suburban parties have been really nice recently. For one thing, they are smaller and less crowded. One can have interesting discussions with small groups of people without having to shout. There's usually plenty to eat and drink, and what there is tends not to be overrun by chips and other "cheap and quick" snacks. There's less psychodrama, less poly drama, less people trying to one-up and impress one another, and just a much more relaxed atmosphere. Yes, there are likely to be more kids, but there is also more space and the kids are less likely to be underfoot.

Someone recently commented about how people scheduling open parties should try not to overlap (especially at the last minute, e.g. in 1997 when Rancho Apocalypse decided to hold an open party about 2 days beforehand, thereby completely decimating the guest list for a party in a more remote location that had been announced weeks earlier...) In general I agree, but I'm starting to prefer the smaller suburban parties (or maybe also the parties that are smaller because they overlap with private parties held by really popular folks) to the mob scenes in Camberville. So maybe overlapping parties aren't such a bad thing, and maybe stretching, if not cutting, my susboid umbilical cord to Camberville will ultimately be a good thing.

Comments

[candle-light.livejournal.com]

I sympathize & understand your plaints WRT to the denizens of the hub of the universe not wanting to come out to the uncharted lands :-) Yes, it takes me 25 minutes to get to my parents place in Porter Sq.

I also agree with you that the smaller 'burb parties make talking to people *so* much easier. It was nice being able to talk to you last Saturday, as a matter of fact.

I'm bummed we missed the Stow party. We're not part of the "cool kids", we went and saw the grandparents instead (time well spent, actually).

[quietann.livejournal.com]

It really is interesting... I wonder how many of the Cambervillians have either lived in the city all their lives, or grew up in suburbs and hated it so much they vowed never to return. I grew up in a semi-suburban part of San Diego, probably equivalent to Melrose in terms of socio-economics and density. Camberville just seems overcrowded, noisy, and overpriced to me.

I enjoyed talking with you, too :)