Silly horse stuff
Sep. 26th, 2007 08:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
quietannThe folks over on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
equestrian are talking about the merits of using a, ahem, "hand-held massager" on horses. Snicker. NO not on their privates!!! On their shoulders, rumps, legs etc. A plain old rubber curry comb seems to satisfy (ahem) the horses I know.
Um, well... male horses, like most non-human mammals, have a retractable penis. And the penis sheath, not to mention the penis itself, builds up all sorts of... crud... over time. So horse people have to clean these bits, and the amount of squick seems inversely proportional to the horse person's age. I am an outlier. In spite of being 43, I just can't imagine doing this to poor Trumpie or Bearito. Ewww! Never mind that I do have experience cleaning rat penises, in old rat dudes who've lost hind end coordination and cannot clean themselves. My instructor, when I was young, did not ever mention the dreaded "sheath cleaning" to her underage pupils.** Her assistant Andi, who was in her 20s, did hint once or twice at how she didn't especially like being the only student allowed to do some unmentionable thing to the male horses.
Now female horses, they have their own issues, which is to say udders, which are tiny (when they are not nursing a foal) and tucked in a difficult to reach location behind the hindlegs.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
goddessfarmer kindly cleaned Minnie's udder before we had our show, and when I said something about the funny faces Minnie was making, replied, perfectly deadpan, "Well, I am feeling up her tits, you know..."
** Just as my riding instructor did NOT tell us to think of posting trot as "making love to the front of the saddle", or encourage better posture over fences by saying, "Imagine there's someone you really really like right in front of you and they want to feel up your boobies."
In a similarly silly vein, http://www.slate.com/id/2174794/ is an article about the rules for naming registered Thoroughbred horses, featuring a gelding (castrated male horse) whose owner wanted to name him Nutzapper. The Jockey Club is quite traditional and definite about what is and is not allowed.
equestrian are talking about the merits of using a, ahem, "hand-held massager" on horses. Snicker. NO not on their privates!!! On their shoulders, rumps, legs etc. A plain old rubber curry comb seems to satisfy (ahem) the horses I know.Um, well... male horses, like most non-human mammals, have a retractable penis. And the penis sheath, not to mention the penis itself, builds up all sorts of... crud... over time. So horse people have to clean these bits, and the amount of squick seems inversely proportional to the horse person's age. I am an outlier. In spite of being 43, I just can't imagine doing this to poor Trumpie or Bearito. Ewww! Never mind that I do have experience cleaning rat penises, in old rat dudes who've lost hind end coordination and cannot clean themselves. My instructor, when I was young, did not ever mention the dreaded "sheath cleaning" to her underage pupils.** Her assistant Andi, who was in her 20s, did hint once or twice at how she didn't especially like being the only student allowed to do some unmentionable thing to the male horses.
Now female horses, they have their own issues, which is to say udders, which are tiny (when they are not nursing a foal) and tucked in a difficult to reach location behind the hindlegs.
goddessfarmer kindly cleaned Minnie's udder before we had our show, and when I said something about the funny faces Minnie was making, replied, perfectly deadpan, "Well, I am feeling up her tits, you know..."** Just as my riding instructor did NOT tell us to think of posting trot as "making love to the front of the saddle", or encourage better posture over fences by saying, "Imagine there's someone you really really like right in front of you and they want to feel up your boobies."
In a similarly silly vein, http://www.slate.com/id/2174794/ is an article about the rules for naming registered Thoroughbred horses, featuring a gelding (castrated male horse) whose owner wanted to name him Nutzapper. The Jockey Club is quite traditional and definite about what is and is not allowed.
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not really..
Date: 2007-09-27 04:34 am (UTC)and I have cleaned out many a sheath. ew.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-27 04:10 pm (UTC)Minnie likely made a "funny face" because goddessfarmer was touching a locale that Minnie isn't used to being touched. She'd likely make the same "funny face" if you touched another part of her anatomy that isn't much used, either.
When you take care of critters (such as you take care of your rats) you know you just have to be pragmatic about dealing with hygene. If you act weirdly about a part of their anatomy, the animal will feel your "weirdness" and act appropriately in response. But if you act like it's just a normal thing to do, the animal will likely simply take it in stride.