kids then and now

[quietann]

This came up in an online discussion group. Folks were talking about how so many parents these days seem really anxious about their children getting/being "the best" of everything.

Someone commented that her father told her that when he was growing up, and before, kids were "livestock" -- they were much-needed helping hands around the house, and a big family meant lots of workers. Whereas now kids are "pets" -- not especially needed, quite expensive in an absolute cost-benefit sense, and something one puts resources into rather than expecting to get resources from.

It makes sense to me.

Comments

[sweetmmeblue.livejournal.com]

Ours are only pets when they decide to pretend to be them. Otherwise they partake in the chores and maintanence of the house.

On the other hand, we do our best to make sure they have the free time to be kids, let their imaginations run wild, and play.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

I can't help but wonder which attitude leads to healthier kids.

I mean, I keep thinking about border collies, and other working dogs. Those animals are only mentally healthy when they're given work -- if they're only pets, they go crazy without something to do.

I can't help but wonder if humans are like that -- that we need useful work to do in order to be healthy and happy.

[bethr.livejournal.com]

The way my mother put it was, "Treat your children as if they are guests in your house. That way, when they grow up they will want to come back to visit, and when you grow old they will let you live in their house."

We give what is best to our children in the best way we can, in the hopes that they will become better people than us, and contribute to society's future better than we contribute to ours.

[maedbh7.livejournal.com]

And some day they will be 'people' with all the rights and responsibilities that implies. That will be a beautiful day. -H...

[marmota.livejournal.com]

That is rather enlightening. I don't think it's just generational, though, so much as class lines. It's also not quite so cut and dried as "resources in rather than resources out", it's just a matter of where the perceived break-even points of resources in and expectations of resources out are. Everyone I know with kids, near as I can tell, takes it as a given that they will go to college. That boggles my mind. While I have no idea what the parents I know have of lifetime expectations of their children, I'm happily amazed at the level of resources I see directed at them.

My own background could be described in these terms as low resource, medium to high expectation. But then, perhaps people who adopt expect a higher rate of return on their investment.