oh, i'm sorry. i understand that -- i also can be intensely hard on myself and feel unable to change things, while simultaneously kicking myself for being unable to change what i tell myself are things that should be easy to change.
Oh, I know how that one goes. The Prozac short-circuited that loop for me, mostly, but I definitely remember how it felt.
Sympathies on the job thing, btw. I didn't say anything because I had no advice to give. I was lousy at the whole "working for a living" thing. Any time I had a job that paid decently, it also required far too many hours away from home, and I resented it horribly. I'm ecstatic to have been able to pitch the whole "career" thing, but I realize that even given the freedom to do it, most people don't actually want to.
Yeah, it's difficult to change things that are ingrained to the point of habits. As some shrink said, everybody expects to reform his life, but nobody teaches anyone how to reform their lives.
But it does seem that one can over time make changes. A year or two ago, I finally started buckling down on my ideological position that a civilized human prepares three sensible meals a day. And it's taken about that long for me to get habits established to do it, but I still feel remarkably clumsy at such a simple skill.
It seems the key is to understanding the overall goals, continuously revising your tactics for achieving it in the face of experience, and paying attention day after day for quite a while.
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quietann
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Date: 2005-03-05 03:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-05 04:23 pm (UTC)*hug*
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Date: 2005-03-06 04:14 am (UTC)Sympathies on the job thing, btw. I didn't say anything because I had no advice to give. I was lousy at the whole "working for a living" thing. Any time I had a job that paid decently, it also required far too many hours away from home, and I resented it horribly. I'm ecstatic to have been able to pitch the whole "career" thing, but I realize that even given the freedom to do it, most people don't actually want to.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-11 12:35 pm (UTC)But it does seem that one can over time make changes. A year or two ago, I finally started buckling down on my ideological position that a civilized human prepares three sensible meals a day. And it's taken about that long for me to get habits established to do it, but I still feel remarkably clumsy at such a simple skill.
It seems the key is to understanding the overall goals, continuously revising your tactics for achieving it in the face of experience, and paying attention day after day for quite a while.