maybe part of the social troubles...

[quietann]

Another observation: part of the social troubles I am having may be because I've cut way back (with my pshrink's approval) on my anti-depressant dose. I was having side effects, was sick of having my libido shot to hell, and often felt too detached from the world. I started the cutback in June, after the wedding. I feel a *lot* better now, but I also fear that being less medicated will make me harder for others to deal with. I'll be more likely to lose my temper, or say things that are a bit more extreme than people are comfortable with, and I'll probably be less "sweet" and nice overall. OTOH I am more engaged with the world, doing better at school, and sleeping better. The libido is still an issue, but it seems to be creeping back slowly.

So wonderful. I mean, I know that part of the social theory explanation for why SSRIs are so popular is that they make people more pliable and more able to just accept some of the insane demands of today's world. But... even my so-called open-minded friends don't deal with me very well unless I squish my personality into a little box.

Comments

hey

[klingonlandlady.livejournal.com]

Hey, I like you, and I wouldn't mind hearing what you have to say when you're being less polite. The only reason I haven't made more effort to get together with you is sheer lameness on my part- I feel like I really don't see ANYONE much, and should, cause I'd like it. If you send me info about your schedule offline, maybe we can arrange more stuff.

Something I Am Working On Myself

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

The difference between disagreement and dislike. Even the bestest of friends (heck, especially the bestest of friends) can disagree, a lot.

*big hug*

A.

[gingicat]

My thoughts, spoken only by myself.

Lately, I seem to have only a few types of communication: LJ, parties, found-family hanging-out, and entertaining out-of-town friends.

You fall into the category of "friends I wish I saw other than at parties and really ought to make time for" and as such, I've not seen you in person except at parties/large gatherings, which are not ideal places to hold a real conversation. And at parties/gatherings, you always seem to be holding a large chunk of what you want to say back. I can't speak for anyone else, but I find talking to someone who is continually censoring herself to be incredibly frustrating.

So we should set up a biweekly dinner date, or something, just so that we can get to really talk. Whatcha think?

[quietann.livejournal.com]

I generally agree. Large parties aren't easy for me, because I'm very easily overstimulated and I tend to just get overwhelmed. And a lot of times I can think of things to say to people but too late to say, or I get too polite and don't want to interrupt.

And sometimes I just don't have a lot to say, or it's the wrong setting.

So yeah, smallish gatherings or one on one things work a lot better.