For the parents (present and future) in the audience...

[quietann]

Moms swing from super to 'slacker'

It's about time someone said this. Yes, it's a USA Today article, but what a breath of fresh air!

Favorite quote: "We have the most educated moms ever in our country, and they are more or less being degraded and turned into chauffeurs," says Rosenfeld, who is now collaborating with a cartoonist on a book he calls Stop the SUV: I Want to Get Out."

On a similar theme, I just finished a novel called Present Value which skewers the hyper-yuppie culture but is also very touching. And I am currently reading Little Children which has gotten a lot of press as the book banned by a Wellesley mothers' bookclub -- perhaps for hitting a little too close to home? Both are set in the Boston suburbs. So far, I prefer PV because it's compellingly *funny* and the plot twists rather than being more or less straightforward.

Comments

[iamlisabee.livejournal.com]

That IS a breath of fresh air!

I think that I (and most of the mommies I hang with) tend towards the slacker side of things. We're generally fairly relaxed about parenting.

However, I've known folks (in real life and over discussion boards) who just seem out of control. Whether it's the woman in NYC who wants her child to go to one of the most elite nursery schools in the city, even though it's obviously not really meeting her (or the child's needs) or the folks who say "Oh, you can't say NO to your child, think of the developmental issues!"....

anyhow, looks like a fun book.

[halleyscomet.livejournal.com]

"Oh, you can't say NO to your child, think of the developmental issues!"

Oh my yes. If you tell your child "No" they might learn terrible things, such as boundaries, right from wrong, respect for the needs of others and even respect for authority.

I never understood the inability to tell a child "No." It always struck me as an excellent philosophy for raising a spoiled, self centered, self destructive jackass.

I don't have any kids of my own, but I am the oldest of five and remember how I was raised, how my siblings were raised and how we've turned out.

Every human being needs something of a smack down. This can be handled through verbal reprimands and very rare spanking during childhood. Many kids just need the verbal correction, and need no spanking for their entire childhood.

For example, growing up I required frequent correction. due to a consistent failure to listen to adults, I ended up getting spanked on a regular basis.

My brother was probably spanked all of a dozen times in his life. He's better at listening.

Anyway, if you don't teach the kind how to behave as a child, they end up being an adult that most people desperately want to beat into a pulp, and one day they'll meet someone who will take them down in an all out brawl, perhaps involving weapons.

Thus, telling them "No" when they're young saves them hospital bills, and perhaps their life, later on.

And they end up being far more pleasant people to spend time with.

[klingonlandlady.livejournal.com]

Wow, if i had a child, just imagine how rude i'd have to be to those "you can't say no" people... (grin)

I think the other factor in that whole issue is how overprotective our society has gotten. I think studies still show the incidence of violent crime is about the same as it was in the sixties ot seventies, and children are far more likely to be harmed by a close relative or step-paent than by a stranger... but still the idea of free play and roaming about in the woods and fields seems to have gone out the window. No wonder moms are too busy, if they have to *drive* the little darlings everywhere, and can't let them out of their sight for a moment... (think of the developmental issues!)

Yucko, no way would i want to have a child if them is the rules these days.

[klingonlandlady.livejournal.com]

Of course voicing these opinions probably qualifies as being terribly offensive, since I don't have the qualification of having spawned. Oh well.. suffice it to say I turned out ok though I was let out to roam freely at a young age, spent more time climbing trees than playing with expensive toys, and our family car was a Bug.

[halleyscomet.livejournal.com]

I think having been raised properly qualifies you to have an opinion on the matter.

[quietann.livejournal.com]

heh. Well, I'm in the no-kid camp also, so I don't know that anyone has to listen to me. But I'm troubled by the convolutions to which certain of our mother-acquaintances go to get "the best" of everything for their children. And no, I am NOT naming names! Why can't kids just be kids? Yes, they need a certain amount of structure (the amount varies from kid to kid), but not this *constant* "supervision" which usually comes across more as feeding the parents' egos than as actually beneficial to the child...

[coffeekitty.livejournal.com]

all i can say is that i am grateful that my parents left me alone as much as they did. i thrived on benign neglect.