The not so good rider

[quietann]

I have a problem.

I fell off Bearito this morning... he "refused" at a jump (quotes explained below) and I kept going and landed on my butt. I was up within seconds but still pretty rattled. Tina was nice about it, handed me the pony and told me to go cool off and get back on when I was ready to. After crying into his mane for a few minutes, I did get back on, and went through the line of jumps again, made smaller because of....

well, those "quotes". I just can't find my balance on Bearito; he's small and his center of balance is somewhere in that enormous neck of his. My going into jumping position, unless I get it just right, unbalances him and makes it hard for him to get over the jump, unless it's tiny. It doesn't help that I am a lot more top heavy than I was when I was 17, the last time I was jumping ponies of comparable size.

In short, I am too fat for him. Well, to jump him anyway. We do fine on the flat. It was totally not his fault that he couldn't get over a 2 foot rail with me on his back.

So much for this; it was a fluke. ETA: that is not Bearito! That's Trump, a 16 hand TB/Warmblood...

So I somehow need to change horses, *if* Windrush even has one that's suitable for me... I need a bit bigger horse, who is as reliable over jumps as Bearito is. Or I need to switch lessons, either back to flatwork only or "baby jumping" ... I like the lesson I am in, but it's advanced for me and I am still getting my "jumping legs" back. And somehow I need to talk to Tina or someone in the next two weeks (no lesson next week because of Columbus Day.) and find out what is possible. Which terrifies me because I am afraid they'll just kick me out because they don't have a horse I can ride, and I am kind of too weird for them anyway... Keep in mind Windrush's main focus is therapeutic riding, and a lot of the horses can't be jumped at all.

Oh, and then, after the lesson, I forgot to close the gate. (The jumping ring is within a huge field where some of the horses get turned out.) Luckily no one escaped, but I just keep making mistakes like this in my riding and horsemanship, and sooner or later *someone* or more likely *some horse* is going to get hurt.

I really just want to walk away... one moment, and then the next I realize how much I like it there.

I spent some time with Bearito afterwards, scritching him and hugging him until it was time for his next lesson.

My butt hurts, I'm cranky, and still crying occasionally over this.

Comments

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

Aw, quietann, I'm sorry. Getting dumped is no fun. I prescribe one (1) hot bath and one (1) container of ice cream, mug of cocoa, or other mood enhancing sweet of your choice.

Now. Some thoughts. Er. I realize that I can get a little pushy when giving "some thoughts," so please feel free to set me right down if I overstep, okay?

1. This does not sound to me like a "not so good" rider issue. This sounds to me like a combination of a size mismatch with a rider who hasn't done much jumping in long, long time (if I remember correctly?).

You're right: you don't have the same body you had when you did this before. Having some trouble with your balance as a result doesn't make you a bad rider--it makes you a _normal_ rider. And on board a horse that may be too small for you (hard to say without seeing pictures, but I believe you), especially if said horse is heavy on the forehand and stops? That's a _recipe_ for coming off over the ears.

I mean, yes, it's probably possible to learn to put the horse together and adjust your position and approach the fence in a way that's going to be more conducive to a good in-balance jump. But y'know, I saw a good rider once trying to "fix" a small that was being a bit of a brat. She ended up on the ground with the bridle in her hands. (Pony did get fixed, but y'know. For all that we should have our bodies back and our weight in our heels and so on. It helps to have some neck there in between you and the ground.)

So. Don't feel bad.

2. What you also don't want, when you're getting your balance and confidence back, is to have to worry about the horse. Yes, you have to ride. Yes, you want to be more than a passenger. Yes, when you're riding school horses, you will do a certain amount of making due (and I don't mean this as a knock against schoolies at all; I adore the beasts). But I gotta say, from your previous posts about jumping this little guy, he does not sound like he would be my choice for you, in your current situation. Quick and strong and "scary" does not a confidence-builder make.

I don't know you very well, I know, and I obviously haven't seen you ride or Bearito go. So I may be totally off-base here. I'm just saying, this is what I get from what I've read. And while stretching and succeeding is what most of us need, it can be a big-time setback to have your confidence damaged. Just...keep an eye on that balance, eh?

3. Jumping on Trump was not a fluke any more than any individual ride is a fluke. It was a different ride, on a different horse, with a different instructor, on a different day, that's all. Just like this was one individual ride on one horse with one instructor on one day. If that was the only time you felt like you were riding well and having fun, and if you were getting dumped on your butt and leaving gates open regularly, then yeah, it might be time to rethink a bit. But "I had a bad day today, thus that other good day was an anomaly" is glum-person sad-because-you-had-a-bad-day thinking. And I mean, I have totally been there. Just last week, even. Glum-person thinking is mighty seductive. But it's not always telling you the truth.

4. Asking for a change in horses sounds like a good plan. And if you feel like you need to and/or you discuss with instructors you trust and they feel like you need to, there is no shame at all in taking a step back in order to better prepare yourself to take a step forward again. But you should be comfortable at the barn, and you should be having fun more often than not. If that means you end up having to explore your options a bit, that's okay. It's scary. But doing a scary thing in service of a better overall outcome is sometimes quite a good idea.

But you are glum right now, and I'm being overbearing. So have a soak and some sweets and a sleep on it, yes? And then you can figure out what happens next.

[lyonesse.livejournal.com]

i think you're balancing too far forwards because you are *used* to jumping the enormous trump, not because you are "too" anything for bearito. remember that i showed and pinned jumping 12.2 bella, and elf my elf jumped 12.3 molly bareback.

you need to practice riding bearito over jumps. that is all. if you'd been taking as many lessons on bearito instead, you'd find jumping trumpy just as awkward and unsettling.

this high-handed review of your situation delivered courtesy of the state licensure for riding instructorship ;)

[unclebooboo.livejournal.com]

In reading your posting, I mostly got the sense that you were scared by what happened today. I do think you should lay a bit more of the responsibility for coming off on yourself and not on the horse. However, this doesn't make you a bad rider or a bad person, it just means that you made a mistake and that you need to go back to fundamentals and work on your technique until you can consistently jump on Bearito.

Every time a rider comes off it tends to be a big set back in confidence. Coming off a horse is scary and often painful. To the extent that it makes you want to be more skillful in your riding, it's actually a good thing. On the other hand, if it makes you want to give up and stop riding, it's a bad thing. I think you should go back to jumping Bearito, but focus on your form and don't take the bigger jumps until you've perfected it.

[goddessfarmer.livejournal.com]

What both of them said. Again. We all have bad days sometime. heck, even *I* still hit the ground sometimes. And I do know that it gets harder every year. Did I ever tell you how long it took me to get my balance back after puberty? I lost it at 15, and didn't 'recover' until two body changes later, about a year post-Alice. And I was riding that whole time.
Not to worry, you will get it together.

[quietann.livejournal.com]

All good advice... I am still pretty upset. I would stick with the little guy in an instant but it makes a lot more work for Tina if she has to put the jumps down for me... She is somewhat disabled (from falling off a horse) and unless she's OK with doing that I either need a different horse or a different class.

[quietann.livejournal.com]

i know... i know. I am 35 pounds heavier (a lot on someone my height) and much bigger in the chest now. Plus I have that belly!

I still think it was too much fence given my limitations and Bearito's. Earlier in the lesson I ended up on his neck from being too far forward, and pushed myself back.

I guess I need to talk to Tina but that kind of scares me.

I'm still coming up Thursday, because at the very least I need to go to Cider Hill to get apples. Russell (today) was disappointing and their pick-your-own operation, which would have offered more varieties, is closed for the season as of yesterday. Nashoba Valley *still* has not responded to my email... so I am relying on Cider Hill at this point.

I am not sure I will be up to riding Trump; on the other hand when I got back on Bearito, his movement actually soothed my muscles. (Dismounting *hurt*, though!) So maybe just doing something simple with Trumpie will be good PT for me. And Minnie sure won't mind another grooming and grazing session... I may not go to Windrush in the afternoon depending on how I'm feeling; I don't think I'll be up to leading a trotting horse if I am still creaky.

PS

[quietann.livejournal.com]

I think the issue is a *mismatch* between the horse and me... totally NOT Bearito's fault; he's a schoolmaster who'll do anything to get over a jump, but I think he just can't lift both himself and me if I am unbalanced/too far forward.

[quietann.livejournal.com]

hurm... well, yes, Trump is enormous compared to the little guy. I really don't know how it would be if I had not been jumping on Trump (which I have not done *that* much of...) But I am 50 pounds or so heavier than you are, and still need a lot of work on balance.

[lyonesse.livejournal.com]

you may need more strength. i doubt you need less weight; the best jumper among my students is about forty pounds heavier than i am, and also riding my short-necked 13.3 ponykins.

*i* need more balance. and more confidence. we all have work to do. don't take that as a bad sign; it's a *good* sign that you have some idea what you'll need to practice. but i think you're doing bearito a disservice if you just say he can't carry you; i'm pretty sure he can.

the first horse i jumped again after my multi-decades layoff was sterling, at 17.2. trust me, it made a difference :)

[quietann.livejournal.com]

You are making me smile :)

First, on Bearito... he actually doesn't move heavily on the forehand, but he has this GINORMOUS thick neck like a draft horse's and I can only imagine how heavy it is. He collects himself really well and has plenty of drive from the rear. And he doesn't stop unless he just cannot get over a fence; one of the reasons I am riding him is that he *is* so reliable... but in this case his big neck plus my weight too far forward plus a 2 foot rail was more than he could deal with. He's not getting any younger, either (he is in his early 20s, does all his work barefoot, and is perfectly sound, but I am sure he feels it when things go badly more than he did when he was 5!) I think it's more a physical mismatch than a personality one; I actually *love* speedy little ponies.

I am prone to this level of glumness; at this point I mostly feel bad for the pony, who did nothing wrong.

Luckily (in a way) I have two weeks to get this settled, since Windrush follows the North Andover public school schedule, so there are no lessons next Monday. I am probably taking this week's therapeutic lesson off, because I am creaky and not moving too quickly, and can't imagine leading a horse at the trot right now.

I just am frustrated because I am so inconsistent over jumps; the previous time I did the "bounce" -- right before I fell off -- was the best we'd done today... but it was simpler, 9 inch cross-rail followed by 18 inch straight rail followed by 2 foot straight rail (he put in an extra stride before the last straight rail, but it still went fine.) But I'd ended up on his neck earlier, and had problems with getting too far forward.

Warm bath coming in about 30 minutes... I need to be able to sit through my workday tomorrow!

[goddessfarmer.livejournal.com]

Even if all you do is get on Trump and go for a walk, it will be good for both of you. And don't worry about talking to Tina, she just seems gruff, but she's really OK. You'll be fine. She will be able to teach better if she has an idea of what is causing your nervousness too, so think of it as a way to get a better lesson.

Two pennies in your direction

[harimad.livejournal.com]

My thoughts:

1. Getting dumped happens. What you do after is the important part.

2. Don't make decisions when you're sore and achy and upset.

3. Consider this: it ain't easy to alternate between a really big horse and a really small one.

4. You've talked a lot about how this class is advanced for you. When you've collected yourself, have some time and a nice cup of tea (or whatever works for you), lay out the pros and cons of switching classes.

[greenbirds.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*

Falling off is a huge confidence buster -- particularly when you fall off a supposedly "easy" horse. I've been there. I think stuff like this is particularly hard on us academic types -- we're so used to being really good at learning stuff that when something comes hard, it makes us feel really, really bad (at least that's been my experience. YMMV.)

Some of your problem may be that you're really nervous about what Tina thinks of you, and you're feeling really self-conscious in the class. The fact that you're riding Trumpie so well (and you've posted the pictures to prove it!!) suggests this might be the problem. I've been struggling through a lot of the same thing, at a new barn, with a new, demanding instructor, riding my very first greenie. Flynn and I can do fantastic things when we're schooling, yet have had lessons where we can do nothing right because I'm so worried about having my instructor's critical eye on us (including things we did perfectly well the day before!). When I can manage to relax and not worry about that stuff, we have fantastic lessons. Take a deep breath and relax -- you're a better rider than you think you are!

Hope you feel better!

Re: Two pennies in your direction

[quietann.livejournal.com]

Regarding point 3: I am half convinced that's a big part of the problem. Bearito and Trump are polar opposites in ways other than size; Bearito's speedy and nippy, while Trump is lazy and very well mannered. Both have dressage training, but Trump is much more of a DQ :)

I think I just need to talk to Tina. She put me in this class because she thought I'd get bored in the "baby jumping" class, and she is probably right, given what I can do on Trump. I trust Tina's judgment.

Re: Two pennies in your direction

[quietann.livejournal.com]

(Also... when I was riding as a teen, my instructor had me riding a different horse almost every week. She wanted all her students to be capable of handling fast, slow, tiny, huge, whatever. And it worked. But that doesn't seem to be the way things are done at any of the barns around here; they find you the "right" horse and that's who you ride, period. I was riding Bearito pretty regularly last winter, until Tina switched me to Guinness so one of the other students, who was afraid to canter, could have a pony who'd canter reliably and not do anything crazy while doing so. Guinness was *wonderful* but he's not nearly well-trained enough for me to jump him.)

[quietann.livejournal.com]

Well, that's what goddessfarmer says: that I am *much* better than I know. She would not let me take Trumpie over the jumps we do if she didn't trust that I could do it. And she would not have let me have free rein with Minnie, who can be a very silly, spooky horse, if I couldn't stay on her. At the same time, though, I'm still figuring things out, so I am not ready to ride a green horse at all.

But yes, I am self-conscious in the current class, where the other three riders are all quite good, and all working with green horses. They are all older than I am, and two of them own their own horses, so I'm sort of the "little kid sister" who tags along with them.

Re: Two pennies in your direction

[harimad.livejournal.com]

my instructor had me riding a different horse almost every week
Speaking generally, that's one way to do it. Another way is for a student to learn the fundamentals first, then learn to apply them in wide variety of situations. Which is best for whom is beyond my ken.

Re: Two pennies in your direction

[quietann.livejournal.com]

I actually quit one barn, when I was looking for lessons up here, because they made me ride one particular horse and that was it. One of the things that made me love Windrush is that after my first lesson, when they'd misread my height as 5'11" not 5'1" and put me on a 16.3 hand QH, Susan** asked me if he was a good match, and when I said no, she asked me what I liked in a horse. I told her about Minnie (quick, but basically sane) and she said, "Hm, Bearito. I think you'd really like Bearito." And she was right.

**Susan the instructor is the same Susan who works at Windrush and is a student in my current class; she owns a horse who cannot jump, so she decided to take Tina's lesson. She's riding Guinness, who is definitely green over fences... very willing but has a tendency to take off.

But I do think the contrast between Bearito and Trump is causing me problems...

Re: Two pennies in your direction

[harimad.livejournal.com]

What does it mean that a horse cannot jump? Physically impossible? Dangerous for the horse? Won't jump properly and only when instructed?

Re: Two pennies in your direction

[quietann.livejournal.com]

The horse is not sound enough to deal with the concussive forces of jumping. Minnie is a good example; she *loves* to jump but Joc and I limited her to no more than two 18 inch jumps per ride, and most of the time when I rode her we did not jump at all. Her bad hock cannot take the pressure of take-off.

Because Windrush is a therapeutic riding barn, the vast majority of the students will never learn to jump. Some will never ride unassisted, and many will never ride faster than a walk. Most of Windrush's horses are donated, and therapeutic barns are a favorite form of "semi-retirement" for well-trained, calm horses who are up for light work on the flat but not much else. They have Bearito because he is both small (therefore less likely to scare a new rider) and sturdy, capable of carrying up to 165 pounds.